|
Common Questions & Advice
As florists, we work closely with families
making funeral plans, friends and associates sending sympathy expressions, and
funeral homes holding services. Flowers are an integral part of the funeral
process. In fact, sympathy flowers have been part of funeral and memorial
traditions in nearly every culture throughout history. For those less familiar
with funeral flowers and sympathy etiquette, questions often arise. Here are
some of the most common, along with sound advice from the Society of American
Florists and our own expert designers.
Is there a 'right' or 'wrong' type of
arrangement to send as a sympathy gift? There are a variety of
appropriate options in sympathy flowers. Traditional sympathy arrangements,
including triangular or fan-shaped designs, easel sprays, and baskets, are still
among the most popular in many areas. These often include carnations,
chrysanthemums, glads, and lilies or roses, but may also include any other
favorite flowers. Most florists are also happy to create floral tributes with
more stylish designs and themes. Mixed flower arrangements which look
"just-picked-from-the-garden," elegant vased bouquets of European flowers, and
dramatic groupings of a single flower type are just some of the more
contemporary choices. Baskets of green and flowering plants are also popular as
a gift that's convenient for the family to take home or give to a local hospital
or charity. There is no right or wrong approach. The choice is up to you. The
best advice is to select something you think the family will appreciate.
Do some flower arrangements look too
'cheery' for a funeral? Absolutely not. A funeral service is a way to
honor someone's life, and bright, colorful flowers are a meaningful part of that
tribute. In addition to adding beauty to an otherwise somber occasion, flowers
provide a comforting diversion -- something to talk about or look at -- during
the visitation. Of course, other color schemes are popular, too. Soft pinks,
purples, and other pastels are appropriate for a feminine touch, while autumn
tones have a more masculine theme. White, for peace, and red, for undying love,
are also very popular at funerals and contrast well when combined.
Sometimes I see a charity mentioned
'in lieu of flowers' in the death notice. Is it still appropriate to send
flowers? Because flowers help you say what is often difficult to
express, they are always appropriate and in good taste. Many people want to
express sympathy and show respect for the deceased in a variety of ways,
including charitable contributions, food donations, a helping hand, or cards and
flowers. Flowers also play a functional role, adding warmth to the service and
providing the visible, emotional support that the bereaved need during a
difficult time. Funeral directors agree that most people do not want a service
completely devoid of flowers.
What can I do to make my arrangement
special from the rest? To make your floral tribute particularly special,
ask your florist to create an arrangement that fits the deceased's personality,
for example, a rustic basket of wildflowers to honor someone who loved the
outdoors. You could also include his or her favorite flowers or colors, or a
flower that had special significance in your relationship with that person.
Whatever you do, the family is sure to notice and appreciate it.
I am part of a group. What are some
suggestions? When groups, including grandchildren, nieces and nephews,
friends, neighbors, business associates, and clubs go in together on flowers,
the arrangements can be very special and make a larger showing. Such pieces can
include standing sprays and wreaths. When sending flowers as a group, include a
contact name and address on the card so the family knows whom to thank.
What is appropriate to send for a
cremation? A tastefully done floral tribute adds beauty to any type of
service, whether it's a traditional burial or a cremation. Because cremation is
increasingly common in some areas, many florists will have specific suggestions.
Families may choose a piece designed for display with the urn, or an arrangement
that can be enjoyed in the home after the service.
I found out about the death after the
funeral was over. What can I do? A floral arrangement received at the
home after the activity surrounding the funeral can be a comforting, welcome
reminder that friends haven't forgotten. In fact, research shows that bereaved
family and friends appreciate being thought of in the weeks or months after the
funeral. A personal note or 'we are thinking of you' message with the flowers
would be especially nice. Any support you can offer will let the family know you
care.
How do I know what to ask for with my
florist? Your florist is the expert, so you don't have to be. He or she
will be happy to guide you. Still, here are some of the terms commonly used by
florists, which may be helpful in your discussion.
Wreath - A floral presentation often
used because a circle symbolizes eternal life.
Spray - Flowers designed for viewing
from one side only. Sprays are often placed on an easel stand.
Floral Arrangement - An assortment
of fresh flowers in a vase, basket or other container.
Casket Spray - Flowers designed for
the top of the casket, usually ordered by the family.
Inside Piece - A general term to
describe small floral designs placed inside the casket such as satin hearts,
nosegays or small sprays.
|
Interfaith Etiquette for Funeral
Flowers
|
 |
Funeral traditions vary for each culture
and faith. Here are some general guidelines to help. If in in doubt, check with
local religious leaders or family members, too.
Baha'i
Burial should take place within a one-hour drive from the place where death
occurs. Flowers are appropriate.
Buddhist
Most Buddhist funerals take place in a funeral home -- not in a temple.
Sending flowers is normally considered appropriate.
Catholic
Flowers are usually welcomed and appreciated. For deliveries to the
church, please confirm details with the parish, as practices may vary with
regard to casket sprays, where flowers may be displayed, etc.
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, the
Mormons
Most floral tributes are encouraged and appropriate, excpet flowers
arranged on a cross or crucifix. Funerals are not normally held inside
the temple.
Eastern Orthodox
During the period before burial (three days after death), flowers may
be sent to the funeral home. There is often an emphasis on white
flowers. Some placement restrictions may apply. Those unable to attend
the funeral may send flowers to the funeral home or the family home.
Other Christian Faiths
Floral expressions of all kinds are generally welcome at funerals and
memorial services. Of course, individual churches may have their own
limitations on placement.
Hindu
Hindus try to hold a service at a funeral home before the sun goes
down on the day of the death. Flowers generally may be sent, although
doing so isn't necessarily part of the Hindu tradition. Garlands and
mixed seasonal sprays of flowers are typical.
Islamic
Opinion varies as to the appropriateness of sending flowers. Some say
the Islamic emphasis on simplicity makes gifts of flowers unsuitable.
Others say sending flowers is appropriate. Seek the opinion of a local
regligious leader or the family. If flowers are appropriate, roses and
other fragrant varieties are especially popular. Palm branches, other
greens, or individual flowers are also often placed on the grave.
Jewish
Sending flowers to a funeral home or burial site is not normally done.
Instead, fruit and food baskets are traditionally sent to the home
during the mourning period. Increasingly, however, friends are
choosing to send flowers to bereaved family members at home following
the funeral. Similarly, it's becoming more common to see some floral
decorations sent to adorn the synagogue foyer. These newer traditions,
however, are generally not practiced among Orthodox Jews.
|
